The Host (2013)

Leave it to “Twilight” writer Stephanie Meyer to create an aliens-take-over-the-world drama involving a vapid teen girl torn between two boys who –- I kid you not -– at different points choke and punch her. That’s “The Host.” Much like the creepy romance of “Twilight.” The story: All of humanity has been body-snatched by glowing alien crawfish that plunder one’s consciousness, rendering people thoughtless puppets. Melanie (Saoirse Ronan) -– our “heroine” -- is thus soul-sucked, but her urge to rejoin kin/fellow resistance fighters is so strong, she rebels inside her own head. This leads to Ronan endlessly and out loud debating her own voice-over, resulting in our alternating cringing and laughing. The girl(s) finds her tribe-like people, including two interchangeable guys who -– as I said -– thump her. Why? Melanie is now untrustworthy. The Meyer trick: Human Melanie and Crawfish Melanie are each in love with one of the guys. Neither ever considers, “Wow, these assholes hit women. I’m out.” Meyer. Director Andrew Niccol has done better future sci-fi with “Gattaca,” and Ronan rocked in “Atonement” and “Hanna.” Her irises glowing like “Tron” discs and reciting drivel, she evaporates here. The “months later” epilogue feels all too true. D-

Hanna (2011)

Here’s a fairytale the Grimm Brothers dare not have imagined: A 16-year-old girl, raised in full isolation and trained to be a ruthless assassin by her golden knight father, is set out onto the world to exact revenge against the wicked witch who killed mommy. “Hanna” is not that bluntly supernatural, though. Daddy (Eric Bana) is an ex-CIA agent who we think is nutty paranoid until we learn he is rightfully so. The Wicked Witch (Cate Blanchett) is his CIA boss, a soulless Texan obsessed with material goods. Yes, it’s a commentary. Director Joe Wright is clearly having fun by squashing logic and ending his taut thriller at a derelict amusement park, with Blanchett walking out of the mouth of the Big Bad Wolf. This would all be laughable were it not for Saoirse Ronan, who ruled over Wright’s “Atonement.” As Hanna, she effortlessly bounces from a teen with no memory of women, and no idea of TV or music or cars, to a killer on a dime. She’s a better heroine than the girl from “Twilight.” Very “Never Let Me Go, Jason Bourne.” B

The Lovely Bones (2009)

I’ve not read the wildly popular book “The Lovely Bones.” So I entered this Peter Jackson adaptation aware only of the plot: 14-year-old Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan) is murdered in 1973 by a neighbor (Stanley Tucci) and watches from her own fantastical mini-heaven as her family (parented by Mark Wahlberg and Rachel Weisz) grieves. Oscar winner? Not. The problems come quick: Jackson references “The Lord of the Rings” in a bookstore ad, and it’s just one hint of a director obsessed with his own past. To wit: In Susie’s heaven, we are served a “Heavenly Creatures” redux, but cloying and over-stuffed with CGI dancing penguins. The fantasy puff overwhelms the drama. In heavy makeup, Tucci is the most generic child murderer I’ve ever seen on screen: Bad blond comb over. Giant "I kill" eye glasses. Loner. Openly glares as teenage girls pass by. He builds doll houses. Doll houses! The guy would flag crazy in 1973, 2003 or 1773. Worse, his denouncement is bizarrely supernatural, tasked by Susie’s spirit? God? Only the performances gel, with Ronan proving “Atonement” was no fluke. Weisz shines, always. Tucci menaces, but all in one key. Only Wahlberg falls short. Surely the book must be better than this. C+