The Robe (1953)

Biblical epic “The Robe” is more akin to “Ben-Hur” than any film about Christ. It follows a (fictional) man inspired by Christ, here Marcellus Gallio (Richard Burton), the rich, man-ho, authority-bucking Roman centurion who oversaw the very crucifixion of the Son of God. The titular red robe is that worn by Jesus, dropped at the cross, and won by Gallio in a bet. The robe, or course, isn’t just cloth. It’s the whole blood of salvation thing set to wake up Gallio from his life’s stupor. Too dumb for analogies? Dude also literally gets Jesus’ blood on his hands. The rest of the film tracks Gallio as he becomes a believer. Burton gnashes teeth down to the gums and when he gets that robe near his face, he “sucks” it up like Frank Drebin wrestling with that pillow in “Naked Gun.” Tin sword fights on stairs abound, too. Very “Robin Hood” sans tights. Thank the Lord. Still, for all the unintended laughs, many of director Henry Koster’s images are knock out: A distraught Judas walking off into the night, a tree in the distance is stunning. The end-scene “walk to heaven”? Just ick. B

Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted (2012)

Who knew Dreamworks’ animated adventure-comedy "Madagascar" (2005) would churn out two sequels and a cartoon series? The first movie was solid fun as four Central Park Zoo animals -– a lion (Ben Stiller), a zebra (Chris Rock), a giraffe (David Schwimmer) and a hippo (Jada Pinkett Smith) -– and a pack of penguins made a break for freedom and ended up in, well, Madagascar. The sequel was a cash-grab mess. "Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted" is marginally better as our heroes make a break for, well, Europe, as a means to get back to NYC. They join a circus train and bring on the wrath of a rabid animal control officer (Frances McDormand). The animation veers from wildly imaginative (Rome!) to a 3D gonzo neon acid trip for children too young to know the meaning of acid trip. As with most Dreamworks works, the movie relies on sight gags, but the creators trash their best idea: A tiger who can jump through a wedding band. McDormand’s villain is a hoot, yes, but the sight of her taking a saw to the hero lion’s neck veers close to Daniel Pearl territory. B-