The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009)

“The Men Who Stare at Goats” is a spineless stab at the war satire genre -- war is irrational, why try and rationalize it? -- created by “Catch 22” (book) and “M*A*S*H” (film). “Men” skips bloodshed, offering a high (literal) concept story – the use of mind-control warfare and psychic drugs against the enemy.

Ewan McGregor is reporter Bob Wilton who flees an imploded marriage to Kuwait circa 2004. Bob’s hope: Write an epic story, become famous and win the missus back. His ticket is Lyn Cassady (George Clooney), a Special Forces operator who claims he can burst clouds and kill goats with his mind. As Bob and Lyn drive (alone) into Iraq, they meet kidnappers, IEDs, Kevin Spacey and a secret base.

The best satires give us a hook -– people to care about, a maddening danger, or an edge, they also allow us characters unaware they are the butt of a joke. (Everyone is dead serious in "Dr. Strangelove," after all. Classic.) You can see the actors smirking here. This amounts to a piss-poor Coens knockoff with Clooney as the heroic idiot, Jeff Bridges rehashing Lebowski, and Spacey going gaga for Twizzlers. “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” had more to say about war. (Clooney pal Grant Heslov directed, not the Coens. Or Kubrick.)

Every joke is a near-decade late: If you thought LSD gags died out with Timothy Leary, you’d be wrong. As for the McGregor/Jedi jokes, who wants to recall those prequel films? D+

W. (2008)

Oliver Stone’s “W.” is a draft screenplay looking for a reason to exist. This portrait of George W. Bush (played by Josh Brolin) was released in theaters well before the 43rd president handed over the White House keys to Barack Obama. Why the rush? Rather than go bare-knuckle serious and deep as in “Nixon,” this desperate satire tosses stale “SNL” jokes at the audience, hoping for a giggle. The “humor” consists of Bush getting rat-fucked at a college party and later choking on a pretzel as the Prez. Stone has nothing substantial to say, and treats his title character as a dumb-struck audience member to his own life. The lame attempts at dream psychology are middle school at best. Shockers are the juice of Stone’s best work. Yet there are none here. Conspiracies about oil grabs, Bush marching to God’s drum, or Cheney’s plans for a world ruled by an all-powerful America, like Rome before Christ, are nothing new to anyone with a New Yorker subscription in 2006. Stone treats each revelation with hushed awe. I yawned. The cast is stellar, especially Richard Dreyfuss as a Cheney, and barely save the film. C-

In the Loop (2009)

Only the British could produce a satire about the build-up to the Iraq War as acidic, vulgar, bullet-paced and laugh-out-loud funny as “In the Loop,” all while remaining as fiercely smart as it is sharp. Filmed in the “you are there” style of “The Office,” this gem nails everything that the American-made “War Inc.” missed. We follow semi-higher-ups in the British and American governments (including Tom Hollander, James Gandolfini, Mimi Kennedy and an all-out-for-blood Peter Capaldi as PR handler from hell Malcolm Tucker) as they do everything within their power and beyond to either avoid a questionable war in the Middle East or dive right in whilst forking over the other guy, and stand (stoop?) tall. Puns, politics, petty differences and grudges, and missed cues mesmerize. I can’t pin one favorite scene, but when Capaldi’s Tucker dismisses an assistant as “Ron Weasley” and belittles a way-young White House assistant, blood is drawn. “War Inc.” insulted troops, had a pop princess sideshow, and had grown men fighting in the rear of a garbage truck. All for nothing. “Loop” makes editing Penatgon white papers riotously hilarious. Classic. A

The Messenger (2009)

"The Messenger" sets out to tell us about the difficult task faced by U.S. Army personnel assigned to the job of informing parents and spouses that their loved one has died. Sets out, but fails. Ben Foster (“3:10 to Yuma”) is Will Montgomery, a wounded veteran with three months remaining on his contract. He’s tasked, with as much training as I received writing press releases, into this notification duty under all-rules, no-hugs Capt. Tony Stone (Woody Harrelson). When the two set out to inform families, this is a heartbreaking piece of cinema. Yet, miscalculated dramatics bring ruin. Will near stalks a new war widow because he … feels sorry for her? Is in love? Either way, it's bogus. Long stretches of scenes ring false. "Hurt Locker" had several scenes anti-logical to (what little I know of) military practice, but it excelled in its human truths. This doesn't. The acting is superb -- Foster owns the film, and Harrelson provides fine support -- yet there must be a better depiction out there that treats this vital task with the absolute seriousness in which it must be carried out. B-

The Hurt Locker (2009)

*Update 29 March 2010. Third viewing.

No film in 2009 hit me as hard as “The Hurt Locker” did, and stayed with me as long. I’ve seen “Locker” no fewer than three times, waffling back and forth between the sheer magnitude of its emotional and gritty depiction of war and the jarring factual errors throughout. I first gave the film an “A” and had it at the top of my 2009 Best List. Then it fell, with a “B,” off the list. The third viewing, I was blown away again. What a great film, flaws and all.

What better recommendation can I give a film than to say it is, quite literally, unforgettable. Unshakable.

Since my third viewing, “Locker” has won Best Picture, Best Adopted Screenplay and Best Director. So, if you’re a film buff, you well know the story. Directed Kathryn Bigelow, who made once kick-ass action films such as “Point Break” and "Near Dark,” this nonpolitical (thank God) war film follows a U.S. Army bomb disposal unit in Baghdad in 2004, when the situation was grim as hell. To put it mildly, and non-politically.

In a white-knuckle opening, the unit (led by Guy Pearce) finds itself tracking an IED. The team must dismantle the bomb with careful precision, or risk leveling a city block. You can see the gears cranking away behind Pearce’s eyes as he carefully prepares his mission. It’s a near impossible task.

Unlike almost any previous war, though, the enemy here can be anyone within proximity, old or young, shopkeeper or bystander. And they need not carry a gun. Cell phones detonate bombs. Kites signal attacks or any myriad of deadly messages. A guy with a video camera is filming not for pleasure or YouTube, but for study in warfare. Like those football game reels that teams watch before meeting an opponent. The enemy. All this, or near all this, is communicated in 10 minutes. Maybe less. Brilliantly.

That’s the thrust of this film, back in my mind as one of the year’s best, and the tension never lights up.

Pearce’s character is slain within the first few minutes. And his replacement is William James (Jeremy Renner), a hot-head thrill seeker who does not grind the gears in his brain. The gears ain’t there. He just goes. No questions, no hesitation. He’s an adrenaline junkie, and if bombs or snipers don’t kill him and his unit mates (Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty), then that recklessness might. He loves war.

It’s a great character, the "Rebel Without a Cause" of today, and he is fully explored when James returns home – briefly – for a stay with his son and girlfriend (Evangeline Lilly of “Lost”). James can rip apart a bomb-laden car with shocking disregard for safety. It’s natural. Yet, picking cereal at a grocery is difficult. It’s a helluva tricky character, and Renner ("The Assassination of Jesse James") pulls it off with grace and cool. The guy is a star.

If the film states that American soldiers may have changed, possibly hooked on violence, it’s with good or understandable reason. The rules of war have not just changed. There are no rules. This is beyond urban warfare. Children are sliced neck to groin, and planted with C4 explosives. Or they might be trained to kill. Business men are kidnapped and strapped with bombs, and their pleading brings out sympathetic American soldiers to help. Or they might be trained to kill, and are great at acting. No one knows for sure. And “Locker” provides no answers.

How can anyone deal with these pressures and not fall apart? (This U2 lyric comes to mind: “I’m not broken, but you can see the cracks.”) That James has become addicted to this life is the true horror the film, and the riddle that wraps around your brain.

At the same time, writer Mark Boal makes sure that James is not representative of all U.S. soldiers. The soul of Pearce’s careful, concerned bomb disposal engineer seems to hover long after the character is killed. As well, Anthony Mackie's soldier is upright and brilliant. The younger unit member is scared for his life, and those of others.

Bigelow shows all of this with no need to politicize or point fingers. It blows my mind this woman is not cranking out quality films every year, especially in a world where Michael Bay has unlimited budgets and freedom, no matter if the end result is pure garbage. She deserved the Oscar. And more.

I know the film is not realistic of modern fighting and bomb disposal units in Iraq. And this is with my zero knowledge of combat. I'm a liberal weenie. My brother is the soldier, now in Iraq, God love him. I well know bomb disposal guys don’t clear buildings or play the part of sniper team. Other people have those tasks. For damn sure I know soldiers don’t ever sneak off buildings. And bomb units don’t go out alone on missions. Ever. Death, jail, capture or any number of terrible fates await such actions.

The film skates awful close to the dreaded territory of “CSI” and “Law & Order” that bastardize criminal investigators with false sci-fi equipment and cops who go ape freaky during suspect questioning.

The direction, acting, editing, cinematography and the drama all still excel. And it’s human truths scream real, too. Many classic films, war or crime, have taken liberties, while reaming true to the conflicting, changing human spirit, and they are on my all-time favorites list. Certainly “Platoon” skated close to more of a symbolic, Faustian story than absolute realism. Hypocritical? Bullshit? Maybe. I won’t say I’m not the first and full of the second. But I can’t shake this film. It’s too good. It's flat out, indeed, one of the year's best and most important film. Faults and all.

Many cameos up the star quota of the film: Pearce, Ralph Fiennes and David Morse. That their roles don’t distract is further testament to Bigelow. And Renner. A