Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

Endlessly loud, obnoxiously edited, and sporting two (!) scenes of its anti-hero pissing flames, “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” is a ridiculously bad reboot/sequel to the equally limp 2007 hit that starred Nicolas Cage as Johnny Blaze, a motorcycle daredevil who is eternally cursed as a demonic stooge with a flaming skull. Film No. 1 neutered the cult-hit Marvel character into popping jellybeans with Cage all wiggy Cage-like. “Spirit” moves the action from America to Eastern Europe, packing along a “Terminator 2” plot: Blaze must save a mother and son who are being hunted by the relentless Mephistopheles (Cirian Hinds). The kid is no John Connor hero, but the Anti-Christ. Yikes! Numbskull directing duo Neveldine and Taylor (“Gamer”) ride “Rider” into the ground with smash and grab edits that ruin every action scene, and unleash a sweaty, over-the-top Cage. The story hints at the Rider being a danger to any sinner -– even the Devil’s poor baby-mama -– but never delivers. Both films’ curse: Ghost Rider’s charcoal stick figure with its impenetrable all-CGI fiery skull makes it impossible to give a rat’s ass about Blaze’s spirit one way or another. Hell with him. D+

Devil (2010)

How long can a guy dig on a movie’s credit sequence without coming off as a bore? At the opening of “Devil,” a quickie horror film about Satan wrecking havoc in an office-tower, the camera races toward a topsy-turvy Philadelphia. Buildings hang above dark blue sky. The effect is gloriously spooky to a guy who calls The City of Brotherly Love home. Bravo! We quickly jump to the story: A cop (Chris Mencina) is nun-slapped by his AA sponsor into reaching out to God, just before the former is sent to investigate an odd death. We then jump to a stopped elevator, where five people – including a former Marine and a jerk salesman -- are trapped, Satan among and in one of them. The cases quickly cross paths as the audience and Detective AA race to figure out who is Number 666. M. Night Shyamalan (“The Sixth Sense”) provides the story, although he neither directs nor scripts. “Devil” is more giddy fun than scary, and has several dumb plot ticks, none more so than its treatment of religion. Non-believers are portrayed as blowhards destined to fail, while the sole Christian is played as a pansy who babbles like a whiny child. Still, better than I expected. B-