The Karate Kid (2010)

“The Karate Kid” is a remake in name and theme of the 1984 Ralph Macchio flick about a picked-upon teen who takes up karate to defend himself. Here, the sport is kung-fu, and the hero’s age is dropped, the races changed, and the location taken halfway around the world. Jaden Smith (son of Will) gets dragged to China by his mother because of her job. By the end of his first day, Trey has made a friend, met a girl, and made some serious enemies. When Trey is quite nearly killed, the local handyman saves him. That’s Jackie Chan, never-better. You know the rest… Yeah, it’s simple plotting, and many characters are flat, but there’s plenty of heart here, and lovely details. Early on, the camera pans up a corner wall in Trey’s Detroit bedroom. Marked on the drywall are highlights of his young life: Kindergarten, lost teeth, his daddy dying, and he marks off – with a pencil – “Moved to China.” Smith – his eyes always testing, watching, studying, absorbing – will be a bigger star than his father. At the climax, I became as jolted at 37 as I did at 10 back in 1984. B+

Rumble in the Bronx (1996)

Jackie Chan's "Rumble in the Bronx" is a quick Hong Kong action/comedy that brought the legendary stuntman/martial artist to America. The plot: Chan's good-two-shoes fights neighborhood thugs and mastermind criminals in NYC. The acting and dialogue is silly to a fault (one wonders if half the actors aren't ... uhh ... mentally disabled), but the action and stunts are pure joy, and it's all over in less than 90 minutes. And if you think this film was shot in the Bronx, then you don't know New York from Barren County, Kentucky. B

Rush Hour 3 (2007)

The best thing to say about "Rush Hour 3" is it's environmentally friendly. The latest Jackie Chan-Chris Tucker collaboration is made entirely of recycled culture-clash jokes, word plays and marginal action scenes from the previous movies.

The set-up: Chan's Inspector Lee and Tucker's Detective (turned traffic cop) James Carter follow a conspiracy involving a crime syndicate from Los Angeles to Paris. That's all I can remember, except the central mystery is so flimsy, it's insulting to anyone older than six. Oh, and there are French jokes galore, because French jokes are so new.

But am I shocked? No. Director Brett Ratner could turn "East of Eden" into a bore if given the chance. I can't bear to remember who wrote, if that's the phrase, the screenplay. Roman Polanski, brilliant director of "Chinatown," appears as a French police official with a penchant for rubber gloves and anal cavity searches. French gay jokes ... woo hoo! This is the film version of biodegradable cardboard left out in the rain. Let's hope there's no Part 4. D

The Forbidden Kingdom (2008)

"The Forbidden Kingdom" could have been historic: Jet Li and Jackie Chan going head-to-head on film. And they do have one beautiful fight scene as (fan boy alert!) Li's Silent Monk battles Chan's drunken master warrior battle over a sought-after mystical stick. There always is a magic something in these films, stick, sword, carrot. Whatev. See, the rest of this film, directed by Rob Minkoff, is a wash of piss, an inexplicable combination of "The Never-Ending Story" and every Chinese martial arts fantasy film ever made as a Boston nerd (Michael Angarano) is magically whisked back to ancient China to, you know, man up, and meet Jet Li and Jackie Chan. This is pure fantasy for any boy or girl who longs to kick butt. I get it. But even the boy inside me left icked out by a scene where Li pisses in the face of a desperately thirsty Chan. And Chan swallows with no apparent reaction. Gotta say, I didn't see that coming, and hope never to again. That kind of shit -- pardon me -- passes in hard-core excremental porn, but here ... No. C-