Olympus Has Fallen (2013)

“Olympus Has Fallen” is a ridiculous “Die Hard” knock-off that pits a lone hero (Gerard Butler of “300”) against a pack of terrorists at the White House, but -- ironically, maybe – is far better than the POS “Die Hard 6” ever hoped to be. That’s a lukewarm compliment. This is the kind of flick one watches in silent awe because of the riotous onscreen tug-of-war between “blow ’em up” fist-pump carnage and “can you believe this?” brain-killer stupidity. Case in point: After North Korean terrorists attack the White House, killing hundreds of people, taking hostage the president (Aaron Eckhart), and grabbing control of all U.S. nukes, the speaker of the house (Morgan Freeman) appears on TV and dumbly declares, “Our government is 100 percent functional.” Seriously! Not even Mr. Freeman can sell that crap. He tries. I laughed. Director Antoine Fugu (“Training Day”) has built a beat-for-beat rip-off of the 1988 classic, down to the Army helicopter crash, minus the Twinkie. At least “Olympus" never pretends to be anything but a B-grade shadow of a knock-off, and that goes a long way for slack. Butler is no Bruce Willis, though, and his wisecrack attempts ring hollow. How’s “White House Down”? C+

300 (2007)

My snob self should hate the sandal-and-swords war romp “300” and its acid-trip virtual reality CGI effects salted by cliché dialogue about oaths of brutality as honor, and it’s need to be the War Porn film to end all War Porn films. Hell, it pits brave European men against soulless Prussians, i.e., lots of white guys squaring off against dark-skinned guys. But the hell with snobbery and politics, “300” is a blood-in-the-head, scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs shock-and-awe blast for the eyes and ears that takes Frank Miller’s gloriously bloody graphic novel of King Leonidas’ last stand against Xerxes and puts it on the screen frame by panel, splatter by splatter, blood mixed with ink. Director Zack Snyder takes all the carnage of the page and adds in screaming, raging men, and thundering music primed for the male ego. Sexist? Homophobic? Ha. “300” has a massive female and gay fan base. One guess why: Those 300 men. This is not Best of the Decade film a la “There Will be Blood,” but when Gerard Butler -– in a star-making performance -– as Leonidas screams “This! Is! Sparta!” and kills a dude … “300” is my Guilty Pleasure of the Decade. A-

Gamer (2009)

“Gamer” is the poster child for a Hollywood bankrupt of any new ideas and one remote soul. My God, I sound conservative. (Help!) Gerald Butler (“300”) scowls as a violent convict/loving poppa who is a pure and innocent soul who must fight his way to freedom via a world-televised bloodbath version of “Every Bad Futuristic Action Movie Ever Made.” No cliche is left unturned, and is, in fact, repeatedly groped and man-handled in the dark of this dark and seedy story. The sorriest attempt at wit in this witless shit-fest has Butler chug a fifth of vodka before battle, so he can later drunkenly vomit and piss the liquid out into a truck’s fuel tank. For his getaway. Because that works. Directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor pretend to damn a world that enjoys watching rape and murder on TV and in film, yet take joy as their jackhammer camera hovers over a woman’s pelvis as she is sexually assaulted and uses slow-motion for every bloody flying skull and toe. Relentlessly vulgar, and not remotely interesting. D-

The Bounty Hunter (2010)

There’s a nasty feel to the rom-com/thriller “The Bounty Hunter.” Gerard Butler is Milo Boyd, a crude, drunken ex-cop who strikes karma gold: The chance to haul his ex-wife (Jennifer Anniston) to jail for skipping bail. Nichole is a reporter at a NYC newspaper, hot on the trail of a big story.

In the course of a single day, Milo pulls a gun on his former spouse in a public before tossing her in a car trunk, manhandles her at a Jersey casino, and then later handcuffs her to a hotel bed to keep her still. This is romance? If Nichole were a real woman that I knew, I’d plead with her to drop this dick as quickly as possible.

But there’s nothing real here. Nichole wears a skintight mini-dress and stiletto heels to chase leads, because that’s what female reporters do in these movies. Chased by Z-grad villains, his car shot full of holes, Milo dishes some such nonsense as, “These guys are professionals!”

That I didn’t loathe Nichole’s character is a testament to Anniston’s charisma. All praises to Christine Baranski who shines comic gold as a martini swilling Atlantic City singer, and mom to Nichole. She should be the lead character. C-

Law Abiding Citizen (2009)

In “Law Abiding Citizen,” Gerard Butler plays Clyde Shelton, a family man who goes loopy nutty after the Jabba-fat prick who butchered his family cuts a deal with soulless Philly ADA Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx). Shelton doesn’t just grab a rifle for “Death Wish” or “Gran Torino” kills. He declares war on the entire city of Philadelphia, using his mad-dog engineering skills to chain-bomb cars and rig a cell phone to explode. Even for the often ugly genre of revenge films, “LAC” is grim entertainment. (The violence inflicted on women is astounding.) Director F. Gary Gray and his writers never give us anyone to even remotely root for older than 10. As Shelton and Rice diligently race to kill one another first, Butler and Foxx race to see who can suffocate their own charisma and acting talent fastest. A climatic shocker is so over-the-top ridiculous that even the characters mock disbelief. It’s never good when the filmmakers apologize for what they’ve served up while you’re still watching. Billy Penn atop City Hall needs to check his shoes. The muck is piled high. C-