Black Death (2010)

Few sights are as sick as some bigot spouting off about the evil of Islam, as they uphold the Christian Church as the Shining Symbol of Humanity. They should watch “Black Death,” a grisly horror-thriller about the mid-1300s Black Plaque that ravaged Europe. The power-mad Church calls the plague God’s punishment against the unfaithful, and the only way back to His (its) grace is absolute submission. (Sound familiar?) Eddie Redmayne plays a naïve monk conflicted about his oath to God who travels with several Christian soldiers to hunt an untouched village, for it must hold sinners. Director Christopher Smith and writer Dario Poloni don’t go simple, for that village has a blood thirst greater than the Church. Sean Bean is the head Soldier of Christ, and his demise is one for the Sean Bean Movie Death record books. Too bad Redmayne is so boyish he makes Tin-Tinseem like Jason Statham and fails huge at the darkest scenes that end this blackest of tales. Smart, tense, and wide-open as the similar-themed “Season ofthe Witch” is dull, dumb and CGI’d to hell, “Death” coolly reminds us that Men of God are rarely ever that. B

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010)

“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader” is No. 3 in the seven-book series by Christian writer C.S. Lewis. I only read Book 1, “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” So, I shall not judge Mr. Lewis. I do know “Prince Caspian” was cinema dullness except for a cameo by Tilda Swinton, who rocked the first film as the temptress White Witch. She returns here for mere seconds as menacing smoke. (Also absent: Every actor of any merit.) “Treader” gives us the same plot as before at half-pace as two of the four Pevensie siblings (Georgie Henley and Skandar Kynes) are again zapped from war-torn England to Narnia for swashbuckling action on an old ship. The youngsters’ mission here involves a mysterious island and a smoke monster absolutely not meant to invoke “LOST,” but rather sin itself. “Dawn” smartly plays at the young audience Lewis was going after. It’s goofy fun and better than the recent “Harry Potter” dose of moodiness. Lessons of morality abound. There is a “Ghostbusters” reference so hilarious, it can’t be unintentional. B

Monty Python’s Life of Brian (1979)

God bless each and every member of the Monty Python. After taking on the Holy Grail in 1975 and giving us one of the greatest comedy of all time, the British (and one American) lads take on a most holy target – Christianity and religious fanatics of all kinds – in “Life of Brian.” The results are wicked hilarious, every bit equal to “Grail.” I don’t care a whit if it’s blasphemous, it only makes me love it more. (It isn't by the way.) The Brian (Graham Chapman) of the title is a chap born in a stable two over from the one holding the Son of God. Brian is no savior, though. He spends his life running from his iron-will mother and smack into the path of crazy prophets drunk on their own loud voices, crazier followers who think him the Savior, and the Romans, and a cross. By God, the scene involving separatists (led by John Cleese) denouncing Rome (”What have they ever given us?”) had me crying. Chapman is brilliant as the straight man, while Michael Palin again proves he can play more than a dozen characters in one film and hit a homer every one. Christ is treated with revered awe. Graham Chapman is poor Brian, hung out to sing. A miracle of satire. A+